One of the biggest challenges for people with panic attacks is explaining what it feels like to someone who’s never experienced it. Loved ones often struggle to understand why we act the way we do during or after a panic attack, and this can make us feel even more isolated.

If you’ve ever found yourself saying, “You just don’t get it,” here’s a way to help them empathize with what you’re going through.

Helping Them Relate to the Experience

To help someone understand what a panic attack feels like, ask them to think about the following scenario:

Recall the last time you felt like you narrowly escaped serious harm.
For most people, this happens in traffic. Maybe they were driving and suddenly thought they were about to crash—only to narrowly avoid it at the last second. That moment, with the:

• Sudden surge of adrenaline,

• Overwhelming fear,

• Chest tightening, and

• Sense of “I just barely made it!”

...is a close approximation of the peak moment of a panic attack.

The Key Difference: It Doesn’t Stop

Here’s where you can help them understand the difference between their experience and yours. In their situation, the fear passes quickly. After a few seconds or minutes, their body calms down, and they move on.

For someone having a panic attack, that “whoosh” of fear and adrenaline doesn’t end. After the peak panic experience, you may calm down just slightly—similar to how they might feel relief after narrowly avoiding a crash. But for you, the threat doesn’t disappear.

Instead, you continue to see the threat in front of you, just like they saw the car on the road. In your case, that threat comes from your own bodily symptoms of intense anxiety. Because those symptoms are still present—your racing heart, tight chest, dizziness—you respond to them with more fear. This fear pushes your anxiety back up to another peak, repeating the cycle.

You keep climbing back up for peak experiences over and over again until you eventually exhaust yourself. This repeating process is known as the panic cycle.

Why This Explanation Helps

This analogy helps bridge the gap between their experience and yours, making it easier for them to grasp:

• Why panic attacks feel so overwhelming.

• Why it’s not “just in your head.”

• Why avoidance or certain behaviors (like leaving a situation) feel like survival strategies.

When loved ones understand this, they’re more likely to respond with empathy and patience, which can be an important part of your support system.

Helping others understand panic attacks can feel like an uphill battle, but tools like this analogy can go a long way in building compassion and breaking down barriers. Let them know that with their understanding and support, you’re better equipped to face the challenges panic attacks bring.